I’m shining and i love it, I feel better and i love it!
You don’t show that you care.
Even if you see, that i live in a nightmare.
I’m walking alone, in the dark.
Nothing but a single spark.
That fade away, the closer i come.
Is this real life? where is it coming from?
Anxiety, is it a part of me?
I don’t know, one thing is sure.
I hate and love it at the same time.
Ofcourse, I talk about my OCD.
My biggest dream ever is to sing infront of a crowd.
On a big stage with spotlights on and drums so loud.
Too scared to take a chance.
What do i have to lose? nothing, i wanna make people dance.
Listen to my story, every single thing that i got in my inventory.
I know that you are tired of reading my depressing shit.
I just need to get it out, every single bit before i quit..
I am drunk, can’t stop thinking about her.
Shit’s crazy, she is the only flower.
On the hill, i want to pick it up.
But it’s too beautiful to pick up and place it in a cup.
Then i kill it, curse it, destroy it’s beautiful life.
I’m sorry, can’t cut the flower down with a knife.
Rather leave it alone, try’na move on myself.
Want to see it growing free, not being on my shelf.
Getting crazy, now she has some other guy.
Love is something that you’ll never be able to buy.
Feel your heart bouncing around in your chest.
Butterflies in your stomach, you are my sunrise.
Sunset, clouds and even rain.
We were more than that, but all we did was complain.
We were not perfect, we’re never getting perfect.
What we learn now, is that our love is wrecked.
I will always love you, i hope that you’re ok.
Well, all i can do is for us to pray.
Still can’t sleep, even if i have sleeping and anti-anxiety pills, feels like im ’bout to weep.
Can’t go to school, cuz i can’t take the leap, im too freaking weak.
Days passing, life is flashing, my life im bashing, feels like im crashing.
We can’t get moments back, that’s freaking whack.
Starting to feel angry again, holding on to too much pain.
OCD getting worse, i got remorse from school of course.
The mask im wearing, my world is falling, my world is tearing.
Got the plague in my brain, but im still pretty sane.
Thinking about her everyday, i can see no other way.
That love has been lost, and lost is found…..
Why is it always pills and stuff that make you feel good.
Can’t it just come naturally, no it can’t if you even understood.
The medication is filling the empty room in your heart.
It becomes a habit, it did even from the start.
You are not alone with the pills, just so you know.
Neither the only one, who is clear at night, but days are slow.
You are in another world because of the side effects.
Never gonna be the only person with different complex.
Some react with anger, other with sadness and some with fear.
We just want to feel safe, “I’m safe” is all we wanna hear.
Try’na reach out to as many as possible, don’t feel alone.
I mean, i’ve been through some shitty stuff damn right.
Feels like i got hit by a freaking cyclone.
Try to stay strong, you are the fighter, life is a combat zone.
Try not to think of all the shit you felt, that’s history, it has been.
Keep fighting the demons, you’ll one day win…..
Broken thoughts, broken dreams and a broken brain.
Endless road, empty train and constant rain.
Feels like all i do is to complain, can’t stop it, so much pain.
You say I’m crazy, you say I’m insane.
Got friends and family who cares about me.
Still feel lost and alone, broken boat in the middle of the sea.
Sometimes i think i know, what i wanna be.
Too scared to say it, don’t wanna be embarrassed.
This bad circle is following me, demons in my head.
Feels like I’m on the edge, or on a thin thread.
Can’t sleep, anxiety and fear is my life.
Sleeping pills to take a nap, try’na go to school even if i feel like crap…
My thoughts circulate, mental unstable.
Life is a deck of cards, and a endless war.
Don’t swim too far away from the shore.
Repeating stuff, even in the store.
This OCD is killing me slowly, feels like i have nothing left.
Can i live a normal life, no, i could but not anymore.
Some people run, psychopath’s gonna slaughter them one by one (ironic).
You know when you have the true friends left.
Go ahead, laugh at that mental guy, That’d be fun.
He’s not like us, he has problems and stuff.
Yes, it has been rough and tough.
I’m like everyone else, but i have lot’s of issues that’s sure enough…